We are the computer generation. Nothing captures our attention for more than 140 characters. We scroll faster than we speak and our attention span is shorter than a snap. A long relationship is 4 years and 10 years is unheard of. We are not our parents! We seek instant gratification and we are less likely to adjust ourselves for someone else. Some qualities and actions which are sure ways to lose your spouse. See:
1. Being boring
You don't have to be a complete wildcard but suggesting and actually doing something fun or out of the norm (roller skating, arcade, nature walk, rooftop hotel, etc.) is a good way to reinforce bonding and conversation. Otherwise you're a sack.
2. Not spending time with them
Everyone is busy however, every day we have the same 24 hours as Jay-z and Beyonce. If they, with their multi billionaire dollar careers can make time to see each other you can arrange time to see yourself. Spending time could be as easy putting down your phone to enjoy their company even if it's for only 20 minutes. We are more likely to remember the negative in a relationship as opposed to the positive. In our minds, the positive instances always gets pushed to the side. Prime example "you're always on your phone when we're together" as opposed to "thank you for turning off your phone last week at dinner".
3. Texting instead of calling
Not everything requires a phone call. However, if you don't live with your spouse, you should be making phone calls way more often than someone who does. Even if you call just to say hi and see how's their day going, it's more personal than a text. You can send 90 text messages to different hoes at once but you can only make one phone call at a time.
4. Being distant
If you're like me (an introvert) you're constantly in deep thought about your life, the universe, if a tree falls in the forest (you get the drift) which causes you to be silent. You're always noticing and observing. If you are this person, occasionally blurt a thought out to let your spouse know that you don't hate them and that you're in deep contemplation plus let them know what you're thinking about.
5. Dealing with your own issues
Work has always been a stressor on my life. It affects my day from the beginning to the end and sometimes spills over into my personal life. I do not take stress well and I used to drink to cope with my problems. Dealing with your own issues, and being distant(see number 4) but not including your spouse is a sure fire way to make them feel extreme discomfort and in turn become distant from you and eventually leave your ass.
6. Being deeply depressed
Mental illness is something that's never discussed in relationships. Mental illnesses can severely alter someone's personality which can in turn affect the relationship. Certain attributes of mental illness can cause you to become "uninterested", "lack ambition", become "clingy" or "emotional". If the other spouse is a dumb ass, selfish and not understanding they will leave.
7. Mentally cheating
Having a physical relationship with someone other than your spouse is equally as bad as having a relationship without it. I like to call it mentally cheating. Especially if you are "talking" to them like you would court or have courted your spouse. Any flirtatious texting, sexting, phone calls or staring at them on social media (things that you find yourself hiding and deleting) means your ass knows it's wrong in the first place.
8.Not having intimacy
As adults, sex is so mother fucking important. You can lead separate lives, you can argue but classic making up involves some delicious coitus. At minimum if you live with your spouse, you should be having sex on a weekly basis. Please note that I said AT MINIMUM. Sex is an awesome work out when done correctly and cures so many ailments as well including resting bitch face, stiff dick and blue balls.
9. Poor time management
If you are a workaholic, feigning for success and you divulge your entire life into one thing, kill yourself. The most important quality in successful people is their ability to work smarter not harder. Meaning, figure out a way to minimize your time for each project for maximum output. Voila, time management! If you're anal about schedule, schedule that spouse time in there with meetings with the boss, or graham cracker lattes at Starbucks.
10. The inability to be flexible
I have once heard someone tell their significant other that they couldn't hang out on Sunday because he needed to get his hair cut. So for the rest of their lives together (possibly) Sundays were off limits for them to spend time. She worked Mon-Friday so her only available days were Saturday and Sunday. This is a prime example of the extreme side of being inflexible. Some sort of compromise is necessary for a relationship to have longevity.
Do you have a sure fire way to lose your spouse? Or have any stories on how someone lost you? Tweet me @rayesocial