Yesterday I had two whole 20 oz bottles of vanilla Coke after not having caffeine for a while. Needless to say, I was up all damn night. After attempting to wash the dishes, I was met by a little mickey who decided to harass me until I freaked out and killed him. The anxiety I felt from the mouse reminded me of all the things in my life that has been infuriating me lately. I thought, I can't be the only person who gets anxious thinking about family in-laws.
Dating is hard. You spend time to get to know a new person. You move in together and toy with the idea of getting married. You weave time for them into your life and then once you guys get everything copacetic, it's time to meet 12 new people, their family members. It's only natural that you may not get along with everyone in their family and they might not mesh well with everyone in yours. But, here are some tips to keep the peace in your relationship when it comes to being a blended family.
1. Do not wage war especially with mom or dad in-laws
While it may seem like a good idea to tell one of your in-laws about themselves, it will never go right. It will have your spouse angry with you and uncomfortable unnecessarily. The relationship your spouse has with their parents automatically becomes your relationship especially if they have accepted certain actions prior to your relationship. IE parents coming over unannounced or calling all hours of the night.
2. Listen to your spouse but keep opinions to yourself
A lot of times our spouses just want to air their grievances about their family members. Family is a sensitive topic and you shouldn't be creating more rift between your spouse and their family members. Avoid being judgmental at all costs and using certain language that could be misconstrued as negativity or shade. Only offer advice if it's something positive.
3. Avoid drinking in the presence of the family member you don't get along with
On this one, I definitely didn't take my own advice last time. Alcohol is usually unpredictable especially as a coping mechanism. At times, it gives us the freedom to say things that we most certainly shouldn't. If it's a family event that will have social drinking keep your consumption to a maximum of two, avoid celebratory shots and brace yourself to span those drinks over two or more hours.
4. Honoring their parents does not mean being a doormat
The older people get, the more manipulative, neurotic and controlling they get. Their requests are a bit outlandish and at times, they can be invasive and disrespectful without being aware.. Being respectful to them for your spouse doesn't mean being a yes man/woman.
5. A problem with the in laws usually reflects a problem in your own relationship
If you find yourself frustrated that a certain family member is out of control, more likely than not it's the perception that the family member has of what they can and cannot do. They are convinced that their attitude is acceptable and even encouraged. It is up to you as a couple to respectfully draw the line with both of your families and let them know what they are not allowed to do. Or, if your spouse is too dependent on their family/ parents e.g. a spouse who does their laundry by their parents house those are things that need to be discussed earlier than later in a peaceful manner.
6. Move to another state
This might sound a little crazy but saving your sanity and relationship is worth it. If you have family members/ in laws that constantly show up and violate your space, it may be time to move to another state. The science is that you want far enough that they can't just show up but close enough if they come they only have to spend one night.
Okay, I'm not going to lie I haven't been following designer collaborations since like Lily Pulitzer X Target. BUT, yesterday I was in Target and the blue suede jacket and blouse really caught my eye. I'm all excited like what the hell is this? WHO WHAT WEAR. My first thought was yasssssssss. Then I saw the blouse in my dreams last night. This definitely warrants a blog post. The collection is super cute, the material is thick and the prices are decent.
How cute is Jessica Alba with the moto, striped shirt and floral skirt?
Before we start, I want you guys to know that this post does contain affiliate links. You know in the words of Eminem, "the FTC won't let me be or let me be me" etc. etc. Any who, now that that's out of the way let's begin!
The struggle for V-day is so real. Taxes haven't hit yet, restaurants are charging outrageous amounts of money for the smallest plates and we all just want to figure out how to get that spark back. I've found some unconventional gift ideas for him because I'm always catering to the man. I believe as spouses our job is to bring that VA VA VOOM KABUME!
Consider giving him a scratch off but make the contents a little more dirty. :D
You've seen the chicken bouquet, a flower bouquet but what about a man bouquet? Yes, we went there. This one you can personalize with his favorite liquor and maybe a new game for his PS.
Pictures attached to balloons = cute. Actions attach to balloons = sexy. Each balloon should represent something you can do to him or you can do to each other or make it interesting and do some crazy dares.
Whatever you choose, make sure you add a beautiful photo card from Tiny Prints. How cute are these? And you can give your bae these before giving him the real gift above.
Tiny Prints is giving us 30% off of cards AND 50% off rush shipping hoorah!
Oh, and if you're more of a "traditional" gift giver, all products on their site is 30% off until 2/16.
For more last minute information visit the Tiny Prints blog.
Entree lifestyle has been one of my favorite urban brands ever since I was a Karmaloop rep. This new collection was inspired by the Olympics and features iconic pieces like the windbreaker, my favorite (swishy pants) and hoodies. Their mascot also makes an appearance. To shop their new arrivals click the picture below.
Yes it will be 40 degrees in NYC on Valentine's day but that could very well be a really cold 40. While all our favorite retailers are gearing up for Spring and Summer, it's up to you to have some common sense. (20 minutes ago I just walked to corner store in flip flops but don't be like me) Don't have your little piggies out here on Valentine's Day Peggy. Pneumonia isn't cute. Having that said, I have some really cute shoes for ya'll. With a closed toe. Hover over the shoe for prices, click the link for the store!
Oh, and how much do we love this clutch?
Which ones are your favorite?
While you may think it's sweet that you smelled a cologne on another man and bought it for your spouse, he doesn't think so. This Valentine's Day refrain from making it about you. Make it about the MAN. As you all know, my gift guides are always on fleek and my recommendations usually keep people happy for a long time so see my top 5 picks below.
The smart watch industry has exploded over the last few years. Pebble is the innovator and as far as I'm concerned still the best. Not only can Pebble work with your iPhone but also with Android and that's something the iWatch can't compete with. Starting at $199.99 this baby is definitely more affordable than the iWatch.