I wrote this post before the New Year, before SheIn sent me that beautiful sweater you see above. It's so cute and although it's a bit shorter than I expected (it hits my waist), I love the fit, the zippers open and close and because of the choker I don't have to wear a necklace! Since writing this post, SheIn has announced a huge sale of 40-50% off. I currently have $100 worth of items in my cart that I'm purchasing and will share with you when they arrive. Until then, enjoy this post!
As many of you know, I work for the Amazin Mets and it's about that time again. I return to work in February 2017, and because I started work late in the year last year, I have not one winter outfit suitable for work. So recently, it's been back to the drawing board. Finding stuff that not only fits my mom belly but is also super affordable happens to be rare in New York so I look to shopping online. Luckily, SheIn has some bomb clothing to help me build the perfect work appropriate wardrobe, (without shapewear) of course. This post can also be inspiration to new moms that might be returning to work soon.
Since it's cold as shit in NY, I want big, cozy sweaters that I can wear tights underneath, lots of warm fabrics like velvet and suede, midi dresses to go with mid-length and over the knee boots, and of course pieces like button down dresses that will help me transition into Spring and Summer.
Style Tip: Mesh can be appropriate for work with a cami under and a blazer on top, layering is key!
SHEIN SHOPPING TIP
Like most Chinese sites, the sizing is not traditional US sizing, I stay away from dresses that doesn't have stretch and prefer to get an XL for my bottoms and dresses but my usual M for tops.
Having a new addition to the family is wondrous, beautiful event. It can also cause a lot of stress on the parents and sometimes can severely strain the relationship. Dealing with a new body or PPD as a new mom is one thing but once that is over, how do you find time to balance your new lives as parents while not losing who you are and keeping up with your love life?
There is no easy solution for any of these problems nor is it a one size fix all solution but know that you're not alone. A study conducted back in 2014 says that men usually lose 1/3 of their testosterone and show a decrease in sex drive when actively being around an infant for more than 3 hours a day. Having a spouse that's less aggresive than usual and a poop tired mommy could spell disaster for an otherwise flourishing sex life.
A decrease in sex doesn't always have to end in a split or infidelity. Realizing what's going on in your relationship and keeping the lines of communication open is crucial to saving it. Talking about sex expectations or needs in a non confrontational and unthreatening way can actually be an eye opener for both parties and lead to an increase of sex in the bedroom or at least the attempt.
In my own experience, I have found that it was a lot easier to engage in getting my cheeks busted when Sai was not in the room with us. Some parents love to co-sleep, I however enjoy sex with my man without a crying baby in between us so, I sleep trained Sai at the tender age of 6 weeks. Now that he is almost 2, I can give Corey head in the morning without worrying about my son staring me in the face or asking me what I'm doing to daddy. If co-sleeping is absolutely something your and your significant other can not give up, morning sex in the shower or in the living room while the kids are still sleep may be something that will work better for you. Or the classic, take your ass down for a nap time.
Here are some tips that helped us rekindle our spark:
1. Being open and honest about both of our weight changes after the baby
Both of us had very different bodies after Sai, he lost a ton of weight and I seemed to take the weight that he lost and then some. He thought my extra weight was unattractive and I was too busy dealing with stress of going back to work amongst other shit to worry about jogging around anyone's track. We finally had a real conversation about the changes our body had gone through and both of us ended up meeting half way. I increased my yoga, ran once a week and took up tennis and he let me feed him without doing 1,000 push ups every day.
2. Being vocal about what turned me(us) off & meeting half way
After having a baby, your hormones are all over the place and anything will send you into a whirlwind of emotion (anger included), I found myself rolling my eyes, sucking my teeth or just being nasty for no apparent reason. If something upset me, I would express it and leave it right there. I constantly told him I would eventually get over it, which I did so there was no need to drag it.
3. Mandatory date nights
Date nights are so important to relationships. They force you to get off your couch, out of your house and experience something new. Leave your phones in your bag/pocket or put them on the table face down. Get to enjoy each other, talk about new goals and what's going on in your separate lives. They don't have to be the same each week because having those habits can be problematic when other events arise. It also technically doesn't have to be a date "night" because as parents, we know how difficult it is to find reliable baby sitters. Maybe, it's meeting up for a beer once a week before picking up the baby or scheduling lunch if you work in the same vicinity. Once yo get married or have a baby, there's no reason to stop doing the stuff that made you fall in love with each other in the first place.
4. Scheduling sex before dinner
If you're feeding him, you should also be feeding him if you get what I mean. If you let your kids watch TV, schedule a quickie session right before dinner while the munchkins are watching their favorite show.
5. Introduce something new
Sometimes, as parents, we forget about sex until it's brought up. There's a Babeland right downtown on Flatbush, stop in and pick up a vibrator. You can buy an inexpensive new piece of lingerie at Rainbow and actually wear it one night randomly after you shower or on a date night. If you're not a lingerie girl, buying cute new PJ's works too. My favorite thing to do is to take a picture while I'm in the bathroom and send it while he's still sitting at the table. These are really easy things to do.
6. Foreplay never ends
Look at your conversation with your spouse, if you have to scroll more than once to find a sexy picture or a loving comment and the last text was two days ago about putting chicken to dethaw, re-think your strategy. Single people are masters at being spicy and sending those "I'm thinking about you texts" with the pictures attached so don't let them beat you!
I can't tell you how many statuses on Facebook I see of "What shows should I watch on Netflix" and people comment the same old boring shows that should have binged watched years ago like Orange is The New Black, Jessica Jones or our old time favorite that's being renewed for a new season(hallelujah), House of Cards. The original series that Netflix has been pushing out lately have been nothing short of amazing. I love to watch shows from other countries because they are way more gory than US shows. To see my Netflix and Chill part 1 series click here. Part two gets a little crazy so strap on your seat belts!
1. The Get Down
Hip Hop roots, DJ battles and the life of teenagers all wrapped in one.
A land by the name of the offshore, causes a group of people to go through "the process" to win a place in the promise land and out of poverty. Think the Hunger Games in a show form.
A long lost brother comes into this guy's life and absolutely ruins it. Turns the whole shit upside down. Oh, and then he enlists his brother to help him clean up crimes for the mob.
4. Black Mirror
This was on my last list but it's gotten even better since the new season dropped. It's basically a mini series, inside of smaller mini series in each episode but it's some sick off the wall shit. And it's soooo good.
Orange Is the New Black is cute but these women get down and dirty. Raw and uncut.
You know, I actually fell asleep on this show multiple times but Corey binge watched at 4 am so it must be delicious.
Aboriginal creatures that live in the future and try to blend in with society.
What happens when you thought you killed someone and you really didn't? A shit storm. This show is incredible but please don't watch it in the English version because the voices are horrible.
9. Cutthroat Kitchen
I'm in love with this show. It's Masterchef on crack and the host is so cynical you can literally watch all 4 seasons in one sitting.
A documentary about the for profit, modern day slavery that happens in the prison system in the United States.
One show that every one else loved but I couldn't get jiggy with:
Slowest story of the year award:
The Killing, omg I can't tell you how many times I fell asleep at 2 o'clock in the afternoon attempting to watch this show.
After having Sai, I dreaded getting dressed up. The old me loved to wear anything that was short and tight but my new body just wasn't having it. I was stuffing my fat ass into things I was wearing pre baby with shapewear that made me feel like a stuffed turkey with a muffin top. Now, almost 2 years after having him, I have finally figured out how to dress for my shape without Spanx and I wanted to share some of these tips with you guys.
Firstly, I love skater dresses and ruched midi dresses. I love midi length items and high/low skirts because when the back rides up because of my large ass, it makes it a knee length skirt and totally work appropriate. Empire waist dresses are also a good friend of mine. After having Sai, I have a lot of extra skin in my mid area that causes me to go a size up in dresses. With empire waist dresses, I can wear a medium without having to worry about sucking my stomach in. Cami dresses with gathering in the middle is also very good for disguising a mid area and look great on women with a medium sized bust.