Pumps & Diaper Pails IX
I have been really down in the dumps lately. After months of contemplating, I finally decided that I could no longer do it. I left my job. With a 1 year old, a husband and of course financial responsibilities, it seems as if leaving my job was a selfish decision. It wasn’t and I’ll explain why.
My job was draining, it was changing me for the worst. I was starting to resent certain things about life and certain people and my outlook of just being was beginning to change.
Besides just totally being frustrated, and tired, I slipped in to debt by being complacent. I had an issue with one of the higher ups which resulted in my hours being chopped in half and my position being heavily reliant on commissions. I was great at making numbers go up however, there were obstacles in my way that would prevent me, month after month from making my goals. The things that prevented me were structural issues not with the bosses themselves but because they simply did not have the time or energy to invest in the various problems and come up with a viable solution. At the end of the day it was up to us (the managers) as a collective to fix it.
I found that every two weeks I would be overdrawing my account. It started with $100 and then escalated to $400. Overdrawing your account is a terrible practice but when you’ve exhausted your credit balances and are in dire need of cash it doesn’t seem like such a bad option. I ended up paying almost $100 in fees every two weeks to keep my head above water.
At this point, it just didn’t make sense to go to work. I gave my job two weeks notice and they asked me for a month so I gave it to them. My last week was extremely liberating and then three weeks after I quit reality set in.
My spouse did not understand my frustrations or my reasoning as he’s been in the military his entire life. He has never had a real job where he didn’t get paid an exorbitant amount of money to do something he likes. He thought I was selfish and lazy and I needed to get another job.
I hustled since I was 16. I worked more than full time and paid all my bills. I always had my own place and never asked for help. I worked full time while going to school and paying rent. I had two breaks of unemployment my entire life and they were for a month and two months respectively. Even when my fiancé who could not assist in holding down house at the time I busted my ass to find a second job and I worked 7 days a week for a whole year. I’ve had employers belittle me, make racist remarks, chastise me and I stayed because I had bills to pay. I made them money, they never made me money. Honestly, there will always be an excuse to stay in a shitty situation but currently, my mind frame is different and the whole work smarter not harder is my mantra.
Truth be told I’m 26 and I could go on this “job” path forever. Slaving day after day saving pennies to buy a mediocre house and work until I’m 40 to then retire and complain about how my life lacks funds even after working for 25 years. Or after 26 years of life I can take control over my own fucking destiny.
I choose the latter. I refused to do any receptionist jobs and got creative. I turned down several jobs that I didn’t feel was going to be a fit for me because why leave one bad situation for a terrible one? Just seems counter productive. I have been freelancing my ass off and I also got a part time job working as a money clerk at MCU.
While the pay at MCU is not the best, ($12 an hour) It allows me to pay for basic stuff such as my sons daycare and credit card bills without hating the people I work with or having responsibilities once I leave. While I make $30/hour as a freelancer, it is not constant work as of right now. Rome was not built in a day and if I can’t find anyone to support my notion, I will support myself and go after my dreams of being free. I have plans for the summer to raise money to support myself through the fall. I also have a plan to open my float center.
I am truly free. Truly emancipated. Happier than ever. I have mental clarity and peace. I am open to all the universe has to offer me.