I have a love affair with shoes but after Sai came, my shoe size increased and for the last 3 years I have been trying to re-build my shoe closet. I love unique and comfortable shoes. One of my best friends Shauna and I had a shoe website that ended up dissolving over time due to a number of things. As many of you know, I do a lot of shopping at stores like Rainbow and Dr. Jays but I also do high end shopping as well. I limit myself to one expensive pair of shoes a year. For me, there is no in between. It's either really expensive or super cheap. I love stripper shoes for the bedroom, a good pair of flats for work, and a good wedge for a BBQ. Lately, I've been going to tons of balls so crystal or sparkly wedding shoes are a must. FSJ shoes sent me an email and after looking at their website and looking up some reviews, I decided I would give them a try. So this is the preview post to the review post. They have a good range of designer inspired shoes and some really unique leopard print shoes. I haven't been wearing stilletto heels lately because one who wants to run behind a toddler in 4 inch heels and two I have a bunion so if I do wear them they have to be open toed. I picked out a few of my favorite shoes from the, check out the site let me know if you like my picks or if you see anything on there that you like.
*Tip they also make custom shoes so if you have an idea in mind they can do it for you!
If you follow me on my snapchat, you know that in the midst of screaming good morning, talking about work and the weather, I often spit a few gems that I have found helpful and might assist other people navigate life. This particular lesson I was going to speak about a few weeks ago on my snap. I believed someone desperately needed it, like I so needed to hear it at the time it smacked me in my face. However, after a conversation with Corey, I did not want him to think that the sermon was about him so I diverted from posting about it and a few weeks later here we are again with the same theme.
The one thing I miss about pre-motherhood was experiencing the freedom to, well be free. I loved getting up when I felt like it, going where ever the wind took me and not having single responsibility besides my rent and occasionally eating food(seriously I was like 100 pounds). I've never not had a job and in between the few but very brief periods of traditional unemployment, I had the flexibility to decide when I wanted to go back to work, where I was going to work and how often. I successfully controlled that aspect of my life. Being a mom and being in a relationship means that I am not free not in any sense of the word. My decisions do not belong to me. I can not get up one day and decide something is not for me. I can not create my own plan to get where I want to in my career because my plan includes more than me and my life is no longer solely my own.
This is not a #ihatemylifeandwishiwassomethingelse post. I'm getting to the good part so allow me to get there.
I was reading this self help book about two years, the name of it is not important. At this time, I was dealing with post-partum depression, quitting a job that I loved, a spouse who was mean spirited and didn't understand my life. Just a bunch of eye rolling experiences at once. Anyway, the entire book pissed me off starting from the first sentence. It said that every thing that happens in the world is your fault. Every thing that happens to you is your fault. Starting from the weather extending to your failures in life, your shitty job, your 30 cent promotion, all of it can be traced back to you. You ultimately have the power to change the weather. When I first read it, I thought "wow, the author of this book must be on some good crack to think every thing is my fault and I can control the weather" but what I wasn't realizing at the time was the underlying meaning was not to literally change the weather where you are but change your location which in turn changes the weather. This was not a book that said you had hypnosis powers like the Secret. Instead it was more logical, look at something that you have no control of, alter the parts you do have control of and carry on from there.
Learning how to change the hand you've been dealt doesn't just happen overnight. I'm still struggling with this. I blame myself for many things that happen in my life. I blame myself for starting my career over at the age of 26, I blame myself for being a mom, I blame myself for writing this post. This life of mine is my fault. The tipping point is turning the whole this is my fault thing into a positive. Making the things you're responsible for a great thing, something you can gloat about.
Claiming your faults allows you to be proactive, foresee events and prevent fires instead of putting them out. I know the MTA is going to fuck up today therefore, I'm going to leave 20 minutes earlier than I should and if I should end up late it's my fault because I probably should've left an additional 20 minutes earlier. Accountability is half the battle of being prepared.
There ain't nothing like a Brooklyn girl! When I tell you guys I love Amra, I fucking love her. #rezyrider for life. She started from the bottom and when she gives life she makes all the girls gag. Her resume is impressive from Instagram baddie to full out business owner(hello Lipland). Amrezy is setting the Instagram trends before they even become outfit trends and is inspiring a whole new group of boss bitches through her confidence. I've personally been following her life since I first got on Instagram back in 2012 and she's slayed from then. There's been tons of negative things said about her including her choice to get some plastic surgery(key words here, HER CHOICE) her glow up pictures have surfaced but she doesn't give a fuck and I love it. Below are some of my favorite looks (trust me there's more), her whole closet is #goals. There's some #glamrezy in here too. Enjoy and hopefully you get some fashion inspo from it.
*photos taken from Instagram
*** This is a sponsored post
I think I have spoken about this previously on my blog but this website is for my Aussies. If you are considering getting married at the courthouse, consider the Amoda Bridal website for beautiful, simple and elegant wedding dresses. You can click the link for wedding dresses Australia|cheap wedding dresses online sale.
As with all websites, check reviews before purchasing and always use PayPal if possible to protect yourself. Happy shopping!
A friend of mine asked me if I knew any places she could pop some tags on her dresses. After I started compiling the list, I thought oo this would be a bomb blog post and here we are.
Some of these places are Michelin Star restaurants and if you're broke like me, you go once in a lifetime. Others are on the lower end but just as magnificent. There's also an array of food types on here suitable for any palette. The stars indicate the rating, the $ indicates the price and what type of food.
1. Blend on the Water in Long Island City - has a view
*** 3.8/5 $ Latin Fusion
2. Penthouse 808 - has a view
*** 3.7/5 $$$ Asian Fusion
3. Le Bernardin
**** 4.6/5 $$$$ French Restaurant
4. Chef's Table At Brooklyn Fare
*** 3.7/5 $$$$ Japanese
5. Daniel by Daniel Boulud
**** 4.5/5 $$$$ French
****4.3/5 $$$ Seafood
7. Del Friscos
**** 4.3/5 $$$$ Steak House
8. The Capital Grille
**** 4/5 $$$ Steakhouse
**** 4.4/5 $$$ Italian
10. Gotham Bar
****4.5/5 $$$$ American
**** 4.4/5 $$$$ American
12. ABC Kitchen
**** 4.4/5 $$$ Organic
13. Catch NYC
*** 3.8/4 $$$ Seafood
**** 4.4/5 $$$$ Asian
**** 4.2 $$ Tapas
I hear so many women who don't know where to shop online for decent quality clothes, for good deals and for certain types of events including weddings and work. I have a shop with Raye tab that has not been updated for 2017 but I thought I would tell you guys my honest experience with each of these stores and why I love them still in 2017.
Missguided.com has been one of my online destination shops since 2014. They offer an array of fashionable, trendy clothing some suitable for work and some suitable for date night or going out with friends. I usually only buy their clothes on sale (balling on a budget) but I love their shoes and I bought at least 4 pairs last year. This is totally Instagram Baddie approved #babesofmissguided.
DressLily.com is a Chinese website similar to Sammydress, LinkeShe, Romwe and others... Be warned I do NOT buy clothes from here but I do buy trendy jewelry I see on Instagram and Youtube from here. They have tons of beautiful accessories for super cheap and affordable. They also have one of those programs where you can receive huge discounts and free stuff if you post reviews/pictures of the stuff you bought.
PublicDesire.com has quickly become one of my favorite shoe destinations on the web. They have high quality, trendy shoes for affordable prices. They also do that points thing where you save more when you spend. I got $5 plus 20% my first two purchases and I bought some bomb over the knee velvet crush boots with a silver heel that I will post on youtube once they come in.
TBdress.com is my go to for ball gowns. Last year I went to 3 balls and I always want my dresses to be beautiful and a affordable. They also have dresses for Quincineras and Weddings. They almost always have a discount.
Lulus.com is the place I go to for day time weddings, they have beautiful dresses that can fit any body type and has great stretch. They also have clutches for weddings so while everyone is shopping at Aldo, you'll find something one of a kind for your event.
SheIn.com has taken over my life for the 99 and 2000. If you scroll on my blog, you will see at least 1 post about them per month. Even though they are China, they have high quality clothing for really good prices. They also have designer inspired shoes and bags which are of the highest quality. They have a blogger program for posts in exchange for clothing. Don't get it twisted though, I have spent my own money at SheIn.
Windsor.com and Boohoo.com are my version of FashionNova.com. Similar to HotMiamiStyles, Windsor and Boohoo provide that glam instagram outfit at yummy prices. I think that both of their qualities are better than FashionNova and they have some exclusives that I can't find anywhere else.
My bfs Jas put me on NakedWardrobe.com and they have all the basics that you need for your wardrobe. That's it. Nothing spectacular but everything you need. It's delicious.
Of course there are other stores that I shop at but these are the first ones I put in my URL bar when I'm looking for clothes. All of these sites fit my post baby body(and feet) and I never have to return anything. Share your favorite sites below!
*THIS IS A SPONSORED POST!
A while ago, I did a video on YouTube about some wigs I purchased from DressLily. Since then, I have been in a wig frenzy even rocking lace front wig for a brunch ball I attended on New Years Day called Sparkle(see pic above). This new website called Coco Wig features some affordable wigs modeled after celebrity styles. To see their cheap celebrity wigs|celebrity style wigs for sale, click the link. Below is my favorite celebrity style, Rihanna with a messy, curly hairstyle with dyed tips. Which one do you like best?
I wrote this post before the New Year, before SheIn sent me that beautiful sweater you see above. It's so cute and although it's a bit shorter than I expected (it hits my waist), I love the fit, the zippers open and close and because of the choker I don't have to wear a necklace! Since writing this post, SheIn has announced a huge sale of 40-50% off. I currently have $100 worth of items in my cart that I'm purchasing and will share with you when they arrive. Until then, enjoy this post!
As many of you know, I work for the Amazin Mets and it's about that time again. I return to work in February 2017, and because I started work late in the year last year, I have not one winter outfit suitable for work. So recently, it's been back to the drawing board. Finding stuff that not only fits my mom belly but is also super affordable happens to be rare in New York so I look to shopping online. Luckily, SheIn has some bomb clothing to help me build the perfect work appropriate wardrobe, (without shapewear) of course. This post can also be inspiration to new moms that might be returning to work soon.
Since it's cold as shit in NY, I want big, cozy sweaters that I can wear tights underneath, lots of warm fabrics like velvet and suede, midi dresses to go with mid-length and over the knee boots, and of course pieces like button down dresses that will help me transition into Spring and Summer.
Style Tip: Mesh can be appropriate for work with a cami under and a blazer on top, layering is key!
SHEIN SHOPPING TIP
Like most Chinese sites, the sizing is not traditional US sizing, I stay away from dresses that doesn't have stretch and prefer to get an XL for my bottoms and dresses but my usual M for tops.
Having a new addition to the family is wondrous, beautiful event. It can also cause a lot of stress on the parents and sometimes can severely strain the relationship. Dealing with a new body or PPD as a new mom is one thing but once that is over, how do you find time to balance your new lives as parents while not losing who you are and keeping up with your love life?
There is no easy solution for any of these problems nor is it a one size fix all solution but know that you're not alone. A study conducted back in 2014 says that men usually lose 1/3 of their testosterone and show a decrease in sex drive when actively being around an infant for more than 3 hours a day. Having a spouse that's less aggresive than usual and a poop tired mommy could spell disaster for an otherwise flourishing sex life.
A decrease in sex doesn't always have to end in a split or infidelity. Realizing what's going on in your relationship and keeping the lines of communication open is crucial to saving it. Talking about sex expectations or needs in a non confrontational and unthreatening way can actually be an eye opener for both parties and lead to an increase of sex in the bedroom or at least the attempt.
In my own experience, I have found that it was a lot easier to engage in getting my cheeks busted when Sai was not in the room with us. Some parents love to co-sleep, I however enjoy sex with my man without a crying baby in between us so, I sleep trained Sai at the tender age of 6 weeks. Now that he is almost 2, I can give Corey head in the morning without worrying about my son staring me in the face or asking me what I'm doing to daddy. If co-sleeping is absolutely something your and your significant other can not give up, morning sex in the shower or in the living room while the kids are still sleep may be something that will work better for you. Or the classic, take your ass down for a nap time.
Here are some tips that helped us rekindle our spark:
1. Being open and honest about both of our weight changes after the baby
Both of us had very different bodies after Sai, he lost a ton of weight and I seemed to take the weight that he lost and then some. He thought my extra weight was unattractive and I was too busy dealing with stress of going back to work amongst other shit to worry about jogging around anyone's track. We finally had a real conversation about the changes our body had gone through and both of us ended up meeting half way. I increased my yoga, ran once a week and took up tennis and he let me feed him without doing 1,000 push ups every day.
2. Being vocal about what turned me(us) off & meeting half way
After having a baby, your hormones are all over the place and anything will send you into a whirlwind of emotion (anger included), I found myself rolling my eyes, sucking my teeth or just being nasty for no apparent reason. If something upset me, I would express it and leave it right there. I constantly told him I would eventually get over it, which I did so there was no need to drag it.
3. Mandatory date nights
Date nights are so important to relationships. They force you to get off your couch, out of your house and experience something new. Leave your phones in your bag/pocket or put them on the table face down. Get to enjoy each other, talk about new goals and what's going on in your separate lives. They don't have to be the same each week because having those habits can be problematic when other events arise. It also technically doesn't have to be a date "night" because as parents, we know how difficult it is to find reliable baby sitters. Maybe, it's meeting up for a beer once a week before picking up the baby or scheduling lunch if you work in the same vicinity. Once yo get married or have a baby, there's no reason to stop doing the stuff that made you fall in love with each other in the first place.
4. Scheduling sex before dinner
If you're feeding him, you should also be feeding him if you get what I mean. If you let your kids watch TV, schedule a quickie session right before dinner while the munchkins are watching their favorite show.
5. Introduce something new
Sometimes, as parents, we forget about sex until it's brought up. There's a Babeland right downtown on Flatbush, stop in and pick up a vibrator. You can buy an inexpensive new piece of lingerie at Rainbow and actually wear it one night randomly after you shower or on a date night. If you're not a lingerie girl, buying cute new PJ's works too. My favorite thing to do is to take a picture while I'm in the bathroom and send it while he's still sitting at the table. These are really easy things to do.
6. Foreplay never ends
Look at your conversation with your spouse, if you have to scroll more than once to find a sexy picture or a loving comment and the last text was two days ago about putting chicken to dethaw, re-think your strategy. Single people are masters at being spicy and sending those "I'm thinking about you texts" with the pictures attached so don't let them beat you!
I can't tell you how many statuses on Facebook I see of "What shows should I watch on Netflix" and people comment the same old boring shows that should have binged watched years ago like Orange is The New Black, Jessica Jones or our old time favorite that's being renewed for a new season(hallelujah), House of Cards. The original series that Netflix has been pushing out lately have been nothing short of amazing. I love to watch shows from other countries because they are way more gory than US shows. To see my Netflix and Chill part 1 series click here. Part two gets a little crazy so strap on your seat belts!
1. The Get Down
Hip Hop roots, DJ battles and the life of teenagers all wrapped in one.
A land by the name of the offshore, causes a group of people to go through "the process" to win a place in the promise land and out of poverty. Think the Hunger Games in a show form.
A long lost brother comes into this guy's life and absolutely ruins it. Turns the whole shit upside down. Oh, and then he enlists his brother to help him clean up crimes for the mob.
4. Black Mirror
This was on my last list but it's gotten even better since the new season dropped. It's basically a mini series, inside of smaller mini series in each episode but it's some sick off the wall shit. And it's soooo good.
Orange Is the New Black is cute but these women get down and dirty. Raw and uncut.
You know, I actually fell asleep on this show multiple times but Corey binge watched at 4 am so it must be delicious.
Aboriginal creatures that live in the future and try to blend in with society.
What happens when you thought you killed someone and you really didn't? A shit storm. This show is incredible but please don't watch it in the English version because the voices are horrible.
9. Cutthroat Kitchen
I'm in love with this show. It's Masterchef on crack and the host is so cynical you can literally watch all 4 seasons in one sitting.
A documentary about the for profit, modern day slavery that happens in the prison system in the United States.
One show that every one else loved but I couldn't get jiggy with:
Slowest story of the year award:
The Killing, omg I can't tell you how many times I fell asleep at 2 o'clock in the afternoon attempting to watch this show.